Edward Richtofen Quotes
Der Riese * "The doctor prescribes you... PAIN!!!" * "Stop crying American! It's Embarrassing!" * "You know, I think they could have settled this whole war thing over a nice bit of schnapps." * "They seem to hate you American. The list is getting long." * "There's probably one big switch somewhere that controls EVERYTHING! We Germans are very efficient." * "YOU ARE TOO GENEROUS MY LORD!" * "A hammer, TO BASH THEIR BRAINS! Oh no, the windows." * "I suppose the time for subtlety is long gone." * "The Doctor is fully booked! Come back another day!" * "Dempsey, I hate you. I hate your ugly voice." * Oh look!!! (Sarcastically) A big thingy like that other thingy. *I FEEL LIKE DANCING! *NO! I am not ready for hell, I have nothing to wear! *It's OKAY, I have every thing under control. *GROAN* GET OFF MY BOOTS! *DOUBLE TAP ROOT BEER!!!!!!! Double tap, Double tap, Double tap, Double tap, Double tap, Double tap root beer........ root beer! Who doesn't like the rootbeer? *I am not scared, but I could use some help! *I long to bathe naked... IN YOUR BLOOD!! *COME TO YOUR DEATH! COME TO THE DOCTOR! * BLAGONY!!!! * ITS TEARING MY SHINS!! DELICIOUS!!! (when a crawler damages you) Kino der Toten *"Oh a zombie, very suprising." - When you see a single zombie *"Ha! You could not resist mein penis!”- When Gets Picked Up *"There is nothing more futile than futility itself" *"If I run out of bullets, I will have to resort to... SCHTABBING!"- When Runs Out Of Ammo *"Ah, zat hurts doesn't it...? GOOD!!!"- when he shoots off a zombie's limb *" I cannot torture my minions without power. Dempshey, you go turn it on." (at the very begining of the game) *”I need to find some ammunition!” *whines* - When player runs out of ammo *"Ah, unt bathroom... Not a very interesting place... Unless you're German... LIKE ME!!" - Bathroom area (Does not know the activation) *"Zis van didn't turn out so vell..." - Blank Photo (use Square, hold down) *"Ah good, I have a apple to peel, an Adam's Apple!!!" *"Hello, Dempshey... Ah, it's just a portrait... AN UGLY ONE!" - Dempsey Photo *"His eyes are following me...!" - Nikolai Photo *"Ah, it's a picture of ze monkey bomb..." - Takeo Photo *"Oh, look! It's me... But not quite as magnificent!" - Richtofen Photo *"NEIN! TOO CLOSE!" - Kill a Zombie at close range *"Aw, he looks soo cutee...I VANT ONE!" -When nova crawlers spawn near him. *"AHAHA! A bunch of little pieces of bone fly from its neck..." - Shoot a zombie in the neck *"BOOM, you have no more head... Ahaha!" - Headshot a zombie and kill *"I take your pain... I put my straw in it! *slurping sounds* And I DRINK IT UP!!" - Kill a zombie *"Don't be afraid of death... Be afraid... Of ze doctor!" - Kill Zombies *"Stalingrad... Good memories!" - At maxis' office *"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ZE DOCTOR!" - Kill a Zombie after it has hit you *"Ze Doctor says... DIE!" - Kill a number of zombies quickly *"Tick-tock, tick-tock... Zis takes so LONG!" - Pack-A-Punch a weapon *"What is it, Dempshey? Marrow-sucking Maggot-Whores?" - Kill a number of Zombies (Rare) *"NEIN, NOT ZE PUPPIES!" - Beginning of HellHound Round *"Oh, my poor little accidents... STAY AVAY!" - Beginning of HellHound Round *"ACK! I don't like it ven zey lick me!" - Kill a HellHound that has hit you *"Hm, zere is no power, how suspicious... OR OBVIOUS!" - Start of game *"Power, power, power, power. It's always ze first priority..." - Start of game *"For ze revival of ze UNFITTEST!" - Buy a Quick Revive *"Yes! She sounds like a shweet little specimen...!" - Buying Juggernog *"I can't be sure, but I think the active ingrediant rots your mind..." - Buy a Speed Cola *"Oh, zey puppies! I love ze-! Oh...! Zey so ugly..." - HellHound Round (rare) *"OH! It just vent SPLAT!" - Kill a Nova Crawler *"STAY BELOW ME, HUNDERWURST!" - Kill a legless Zombie *"Get off my leg, minion!" - Kill a legless zombie *"ZOOOMBIES, it's time for your DISEMBOWLEMEEEENT!" - Get the Bowie Knife *"Zis is just so heavy..." - Buy the M14/Sniper Rifles *"I CAN HIT MORE ZAN VON AT A TIME!" - Gets the M14 *"ZIS MAKES ME ANGRY!" - Buys the single CZ75/Python *"Double za pleasure, double za pain!" - Buy the CZ-75 Dual Wield *"A force of nature at my fingertips!" - Buy the Thundergun *"DO YOU LIKE MY GLOWING GREEN BALLS!?" - Kill a zombie with the Ray Gun *"YES! YES, EXPLODE!" - Kill a zombie with a grenade *"You remind me of Patient 13225...Only you make less noise when I stick things in you..." - Recieving the Monkey Bomb (13225 is 115 squared, a reference to the element 115 throughout the Zombies story line) *"Vere did you go?" - Get the Teddy Bear *"Box, we talked about zhis..." - Get the Teddy Bear *"BUT I NEED YOUR GIFTS!! HOW CAN I HAVE ZHEM!?" - Get the Teddy Bear *"HAH! BOW before ze Almighty Doctor!" - Use the Thundergun/Zeus Cannon *"Zey are all flattened...like pancakes!" - Use the Thundergun/Zeus Cannon *"RATATATATAA, RATATATAA! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" - Get an automatic weapon (Galil, Commando, etc.) *"I vill save vials of zeir blood... For later..." - Get the G-11 *"Vhere did you go? I don't know, do you?" - Headshot a zombie and kill *"Look at vat I have created!" - Shoot/Make a Crawling Zombie *"No rounds, no wounds, NO JOY!"- No Ammo *"I need to find more of my little friends...!" - No Ammo *"How can I be running low on ammo!?" - Low Ammo *"How can ze Doctor be so poor!?" - Try and buy something too high for you *"Alas, ze Doctor is too poor to buy zis..." - Cannot buy a weapon or open a door and try anyway *"LOW ON AMMO!" - Low Ammo *"Vithout bullets, I'll have to resort to... SHTABBING!" - No Ammo *"Come to Richtofen, my little minions...!" - Get a high-caliber/good weapon *"Mummy said not to hurt animals any more..." - HellHound Round *"Vatch zem all explode so beautifully!" - Use something explosive *"Zey vill submit to ze darkness... YES...!" - Get a machine gun/automatic rifle *"He cannot fight now, he's been... Disarmed... AAAAHAHAHAHA!" - Shoot off a Zombies arm *"Zat must be ze failed experiments Maxis mentioned..." - Turn on the power *"Now I will hear the anguished cries! HOW WUNDERBAR!" - Get a Automatic Rifle *"An autopsy is more easily performed with a shotgun..." - Buy a shotgun *"A found a piece of ze meteor!" - Find the first piece of the Meteor *"A found anozher rock... Maybe zey stole zis from Japan...!" - Find the second piece *"I FOUND ZE LAST PIECE!" - Find the last piece *"I found a delicious tune...!" - Activate the Hidden Song (Find All Pieces) *"IT TICKLES! IT TICKLES, I KNEW IT! IT TICKLES!!!" - Get Downed *"YAH! Zis makes ze BIG HOLES... I like big holes..." - Get a shotgun *"I KILL YOU FOR YOUR INSOLENCE!" - Played when a crawler hits you *"Dempshey, I hate you... I hate you so much..." - Play online and use Richofen and Dempsey *"Double zhe pleasure, double zhe pain, double zhe damage...~" - Upon getting the Dual Wield CZ-75s *"VAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ZE POOR PUPPIES!?" - Kill a Hellhound *"Vat!? I cannot achieve pleasure vith zis!" - Get the CZ-75 Single Gun *"VAT!? I am nothing but a peasant!" - Not enough points for a weapon *"Zis looks like a rather deadly tool..." - Buy the Bowie Knife *"I don't know who Jim Bowie was, but he must have been BIG and LONG and SHARP..." - Buy Bowie Knife *"Look at Dempshey! He's surrounded! Ahahaha... Let's leave them to him..." *"Oh, an alley... How quaint..." - Open the door to the alley and walk out (When walking through the alley) *"AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA, DIE!..." - Kill Zombies *"Unt fire-breathing shotgun...? WUNDERBAR!!!" - Pack a Punch the Olympia *"Nikolai! You are my best friend! ...I will experiment on you much later zan ze others..." - When Nikolai Gets a Headshot *"Takeo, I vant you to run ahead of me..." (Takeo Reply) "You'll get lots of... Vat's it called? Ah" *"POP GOES ZAH VESEAL!" - Headshot a Nova Crawler *"OH! Unt veapon of great accuracy...!" - Buy the MP-40 *"I bet it hurts SO GOOD if I put my hand in zere..." - Pack-A-Punch a weapon *whistles* - Pack-A-Punch a weapon *"Aw, don't make fun of Dempshey, Nikolai! That monkey was practically FAMILY to him!" - Respond to Nikolai's comment on Cymbal Monkey *"Nice shot, Nikolai!" - When Nikolai Gets a Headshot *"You know, you should practice on Dempshey... While you're on a roll..." - When Nikolai Gets a Headshot *"How can someone so DRUNK be so ACCURATE!?" - When Nikolai Gets a Headshot *"Pack-A-Punch... Curious..." - Pack-A-Punch a weapon *"I SWALLOW YOUR HEART!!!" - Kill a zombie with a knife *"Perhaps I can save his appendix..." - Make a Crawling Zombie *"Are you... Board? AHAHAHAHAHA!" - Get the Carpenter power up *"My blood with flow vith zheir tears!" - Get the Insta-Kill power up *"FIRE SALE! How wunderbar!" - Get the Fire Sale power up *"A gift from Sam!? BUT VHY!?" - Get the Max Ammo power up *"Ze flames... Of ze damned...!" - Get the Nuke power up *"More time to play vith my pretty ones!" - Get the Max Ammo power up *"Zat should keep my patients at bay..." - Get the Carpenter power up *"Sounds like ze handivork of Ze Masons..." - Get the Carpenter power up *"Zey are held outside for a little vhile now..." - Carpenter power up *"Ah, no... You're not supposed to fall apart like zat..." - Throw a grenade *"AHA, AHA! It makes a fun noise, too!" - Get an automatic weapon *"Ja, ja, the power needs to be turned on..." - Start of game *"I FEEL LIKE DANCING!" - Kill a number of zombies (rare) *"Yes... Ja, JA...! DIE!!" - Kill a number of zombies *"NEIN! Attack Dempshey, not ze Doctor!" - When Richtofen is Surrounded *"Ah, his torture vas SO BEAUTIFUL!" - Kill a zombie *"BURN, MY CHILDREN!! BURRRRRN!!!" - Use olympia PAP'ed *"You should go follow DEMPSHEY now!" - Large amount of Zombies (10 or more in one room) *"So many gears... Such German ingenuity!" - Pack-A-Punch a weapon. *"Step into ze light...!" - Get the Nuke power up *"No, I am not ready for Hell! I don't even have my good shoes!" - When Downed *"Help me, zey are displeased!" - When Downed *"Did ze voices tell you to save me?" - When revived *"I vill please you now... ZE VOICES!" - Insta-Kill Power Up *"Ah, danke..." - When revived *"Fountains of Sorrow" (sings) - Kill multiple zombies with a grenade *"I'll get you something nice vhen zis is over..." - Be revived *"OH! It's so light and DEADLY!" - Get an SMG *"I feel ze blood in my eyes...!" - Kill a zombie at CLOSE range (rare) *"Take zem back, Samantha!" - Kill a HellHound *"BAD PUPPY!" - Kill a HellHound *"It's time to RUN!" - Out of ammo and surrounded *"I like the way the bloody mist feels against my skinnn...!" - Kill a number of zombies at close range *"Why don't you shut your ignorant hole, Dempshey...? And your mouth..." - Killing Zombies with Dempsey *"Samantha, didn't ve talk about zhis?" - Get the Teddy Bear *"Look at it! CRAWLING to it's Master!!!" - Make a crawler *"Feel ze POWER of Dr. Richtofen!" - Using Thundergun/Zeuscannon *"I hate you, Dempshey... I even hate your eyes..." - Play with Richtofen and Dempsey only *"Oh, zey vill be all over ze floor, unt da valls, unt da ceiling!!" - Get an explosive weapon (LAW rocket, China Lake) *"A crossbow vith a explosive round? Zhey think of EVERYTHING...!" - Recieving the Crossbow *"A crossbow? Interesting..." - Recieving the Crossbow *"Dempshey, if you had a braincell for every headshot, you'd only be shtupid..." - Hearing Dempsey's Comment upon getting a Sniper Headshot *"Get off my leg, Minion!" - Get hit by a crawling zombie *"IT'S TEARING MY SHINS! DELICIOUS!" - Get hit by a crawling zombie *"Dempshey, you are now my favorite..." - Killing Zombies with Dempsey *"Can it be? The DG-3!? The DG-3 zats just for me!? AHAHAHAHAHAH!" - Obtain Thundergun *"So ZIS must be vat Maxis was hiding..." - Obtain Thundergun *"FLASHY LIGHTS!! FLASHY LIGHTS!!!" - Firesale (Rare) *"See ze powar of Dr. Richtofen!" - Get 3 kills w/ 1 shot *"OH JOY! I made unt STUMPY!!" - Make a crawling zombie *"IT'S STILL ALIVE!!!" - Use 2 grenades on a zombie and it still lives (Round 25 and up) *"I vant to get closer and EMBRACE zeir pain..." - Headshot w/ L-115 Isolator (Rare) *"KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN NEXT TIME!! Ahahahaha-! Oh... Zere von't be a next time..." - Headshot w/ L-115 or D-115 *"Excuse me, I must vomit." - Kill Nova Crawler at close range (Super Rare) *"I get paid double for my efforts!" (recives 2x power-up) *"I am so pleased, now DIE!!!!!" (killing multiple zombies) *"Ah yeah, my clients of darkness will die with great PAIN!!!" - Taking an Upgraded Weapon from the Pack a Punch Machine. *"Tiny little organ parts for everybody!!!" - killing zombies with grenade *"Ah, I can smell the delicate flesh, ya..." - killing zombies *" I can smell my own blood, FEAR ME!!!!!" - getting hit by zombie and killing it *"Death comes to you minions, be afraid!" - End of round *"My poor little accidents, STAY AWAY!!!" - Being attacked by multiple zombies *"THE BLOOD! THE BEAUTIFUL BLOOD!!" - Knifing multiple zombies *"Oh, the lovely BLOOD!!" - Knifing multiple zombies *"Zey've all gone mad! Ve must help them.." - Being revived *"It gives me great pleasure to deal this much pain." - Killing zombies *"Does anyvon have balls zat need polishing?.....Calm down Nikolai !" *"Zis cowboy is not amushing" - upon recieving Double Tap Root Beer *"Did you feel it!?.... Oh I hope you did" - blow up both of a zombies legs with a grenade *NO TOUCH ZEE DE DOCTOR!!!....UNLESS HE ASKS - killing a zombie after he hits you (RARE) *I make zem go boom now.-when zombies are blown up by a grenade *I have been recognized by Treyar... the uh the Illuminati! -Quote Activation is unknown *"Hey Dempsey! Who are you talking to?" - When Dempsey talks to the player who is playing him (RARE) 'Ascension' *Spicy! - gets raygun (VERY RARE) *"Their little heads will go...Boom!" *"Double Points! Double ze death, double ze fun."' *"Clean-up on aisle six!.....Dempsey had an accident..." *"Ohh haha...Ze little demon goes boom'.." *"AH! There's blood in my eyes!--Oh yes. *"OHH! The inside of your head is delicious!" *Ohh, his death vas so....juicy." *"Oahhh ze body parts....in Wunderbar!" *"The wretched screams of the dead fill my heart with joooyy!" *"It has DOCTAH in ze title! (Girly voice) Just like mee!" *"Nein! Ze dirty hairy little man things are taking my...things!" *"OHH! There's a doll inside a doll inside a DOOLL!....Sounds perverse..!" *"Perhaps I shall dip ze tip in faecal matter." *"With zis the doctor can go a very long time!.....Zhat turn you on?" -Drinking Stamin-Up *"Ohh, I do like ze sound of zis one...it tickles my special place." *"Look at him, CRAAWLING to his master.....oh he's dead." *"Is he trying to communicate..." -Attacked by a monkey *"Einy, miny, miney, moe, I vill shoot you in zhe toe... UNT DA FACE!!" - Receiving a Pack a Punched Weapon *"Hehehe, stop tickling me!" (Interact with Richtofen Matyroshka Doll) *"Oooh, your so big!" *"I used to smash these things, just so I could see my sister cry." (After interacting with Matyroshka Doll) *"Death has come to you my children." *"I count one, two, three...oh shit" *"Oh no, ze hands, groping me...it feels...sooo gooood...hehehe" (evil voice) *"I'm not dead!...Not yet." - revived *Ahh! It looks like it sucks them in! - Use the Gersch Device on multiple zombies. *Usually ze voices aren't so angry! *If i designed this it would suck not blow!-Kill zombies with thundergun. *This drink is my favourite, I cannot express how much I enjoy it's invigorating taste and exceptional finish. (Spoken very quickly) *Now you can fit into a gumball machine... and I can have a piece of you for a quarter... WHO HAS A QUARTER?!!? Dempsey? *Are they trying to communica— oh no they’re having sex. Shangri-La *It's mine! MINE! I'LL CONTROL THEM ALL! *Excellent, It is all coming together now. (Low laughing then he starts coughing then finishes laughing) *Now that you are done I'll be taking that. (Laughing) *I have earned Und Anchivement. (Quiet voise) yeah. *Weeeeeeeee! I hear a Crystal rising. *NEIN! This sounds BAD, LIKE NIKOLAI SINGING *Feast little ones, FEAST!!! Ohhh........ I mean, I'm on my way Dempsey! *BOX, I hate you.... *This is a rifle, not just a gun. I use it to kill, and IT'S SO MUCH FUN!!!! * AHA my shoes vill go zeh sqweeky sqweeky * Hey Dempsey, you need a shave? Ha ha ha! (Quietly) I’ll cut your head off. Moon *"Let's count how many zombies died! 1, 2, and 3! HAHAHA!" *"That nasty child touched me, now they will all, DIE *﻿ "I WIN! ... The power! THE POWER! I WILL CONTROL THEM ALL! I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!! But not before we continue the game!" - 1/2 Easteregg completed *NEIN! AIR! Good for torture! ACH! - Not wearing a PES in no air zones *WEEEEEE, I can bounce around like a free little bunny, WEEEEEE. - Jump around in Moon (rare) *Without bullets I will start stabbing... AHHH STABBING!! - No Ammo *Yes, more...MORE!! Okay, little less. - Killing Zombies *Their Homeostatic Functions will be all mine Hahaha, ALL MINE!!! - Killing Zombies (rare) *GRIFFIN STATION, FOLLOW ME! - jumping around the moon base *JA, It Worked, Now Onto Phase Twelve! -jumping around on the moon base *Again With Ze Flopping Doctor......... - Get Phd Flopper *ROOT BEER YA! - Get Double Tap Root Beer *I Will Shoot Zem, IN THEIR EYES!!!! - Get Deadshot Daquiri *Revive THIS you animals! Get Quick revive *Do-Do-Do-Dempsey Is a big fat stupid dull hunk of meat, do-do-do Dempsey sucks (Pack-a-punch) *Oh Dempsey, i think i can see your house from here, IT'S ON FIRE! - Start of game *Ohhhh, this must be where they bake all the Apple Pies! - Start of game *the foolish Americans will never gain Mein secrets. -Start of game *Lungs...Feel....flat.......PAIN....in...Pacre...as! - Not wearing a PES in no air zones *This...Is all...Dempsey's....Fault.....I......Hate...........Pie! - Not wearing a PES in no air zones *ah.. the earth rise is so vunderval from here - Buy first door at Moon *I knew i should of invented a egg moving robot... stupid maxis with his stupid accent un stupid rules- While moving egg around map *Zis inflation is killing me - Trying to purchase a weapon without enough points *“Now, if my calculations are correct, that big diggy thingy is going to fuck us up!” - When the excavator is about to decompress an area *"Zheir screams are so erotic, jaaa...! *Groans*" - Killing a number of zombies *"Vizout ze bullets I cannot kill! ...Tear.." - Out of ammo *"GET OFF MY LEG CHILD!!" -Attacked by crawler *oh ya.. the blood, THE BLOOD *OH it bites my shins... IT BITES MY SHINS!! -Attacked by crawler *Nothing can withstand the super skills of R tofen. -retrieving the hacker *You will play DEARLY for this! - Getting a teddy bear *Not again! Nein! Nein, Nein! - Getting a teddy bear *Oh ja you moved the box... FOR THE LAST TIME!!! - Getting a teddy bear *Your time will come to an end little girl! - Getting a teddy bear *Login: Teddy. Password: is a liar. I’m not, but that’s why no one would guess it! Ha ha. *What is it with Groph’s obsession with American women? All they do is play games! No matter. Time to charge up the Casimir mechanism. Carry the one... *What is happening? Scanning for haxorz. *Maxis. How on EARTH did you get into the machine? No matter. *You should neve have kept the DG-2 from production! You should never have tried to steal the plans for the MTD! *Indeed und now you are dead. Und your little girl is going to be next! She is the source of madness! Not I. *Und delete. Goodbye, Doctor Maxis. *"Hello Samantha, you little brat. Your time is coming. Soon. *laughs* SO SOON!" — After revealing Samantha from the pyramid Tranzit (green run) "Ka-boom!" "*Coughing* Excuse me, just getting used to the Aether. Wreaks havok on the pipes. Ah, right."*Power-Up Name* (Only heard when a First Time Player is in the game) "Double Points" "Insta Kill" "Max Ammo" "Carpenter" "Oh look! You got the Wunderwaffe DG-2. HA! JUST KIDDING! Ha ha ha!" "It's like playing don't touch the lava,But with REAL LAVA! Ahahaha." "Is that all the damage those missiles did? I was hoping for less ground and more lava..." "I remember doing that just to anger that little girl!" "Oh, His screams are so DELIGHTFUL." "Ah, This building look's familiar." "No power, No Juggernog, You have it easy compared to how THEY had it." "It look's like a Max ammo but I can't be sure, I can only see everything at the same time." "That GIFT was just for YOU, And you throw it away! (Whiney hurt voice) I think I'm offended." "Speed cola! Oh, how I MISS that invigorating TASTE!" "Ahhh, The best drink of them all." "Ah, good job, wunderbar! You've done well, my friend. But this is not a sprint. This is und marathon. Of your group, you are the only one who seems to be able tzo hear me, so you must convince your deaf friends to heat up the obelisk! Setting a puny fire will not be enough. It must reach an extreme temperature. Now, if only you knew how to build a portable engine of some sort which might grow very hot. Hmm, some sort of jet engine with zan afterburner, Oh what, you do? Oh, goody goody! So, why are still standing here listening to voices in your head? Get to it, schweinhund, or Maxis will kill you all!" — Said to Stuhlinger when the power is turned on. Buried * " Samuel? Samuel Stuhlinger?" * "Calm yourself Samuel, we are all friends here are we not?" * We have no time for such petty rivalries my friend, i feel that Maxis may manipulate your companions into following his orders, he can be a very convincing liar, i know this first hand. For now you must focus on only gaining control of the tower above ground. It is more important than you can possibly imagine!" *"The components necessary to build an energy conduit to power the tower will only source from this location. When you find them, you must ensure they are not used to help Maxis!" *"You need to get the others to do what you tell them. That's what working together is, ah? DO IT!" :: — At the start of the second round since going under the surface and the group have not started the Easter Egg for Richtofen's side. *"Explain it to them! I don't care if they are talking over you! Just tell them what they HAVE TO DO!" :: — At the start of the third round since going under the surface and the group have not started the Easter Egg for Richtofen's side. *"Why won't you listen?! Was it something I said? I'm so annoyed, I don't even want to speak to you!" :: — At the start of the fourth round since going under the surface and Richtofen's side has not been started. *"You really are quite pathetic aren't you. Where would you be if it wasn't for me? Nowhere, that's where! I HATE you! I HATE YOU SO MUCH!" :: — At the start of the fifth round since going under the surface And Richtofen's side of the Easter Egg has not been started. *"AAH! Perfect! Und Guillotine! Find the right parts and bring it to this location! Together, we will thwart Maxis! Don't worry, we're not really going to cut off his head. I was talking metaphorically! Although, Decapitations can follow if Time Permits." :: — Said upon discovering the Guillotine. *"That is very good Samuel. I confess that I had worried that your friends might desert you. I love being wrong!" :: — Said after attaching the first part to the Guillotine. *"Progress. A GLEAM OF PROGRESS!" :: — Said after attaching the second part to the Gullottine. *"You are approaching the climatic moment. Oh it feels good, ja..." :: — Said after attaching the third part to the Gullottine. *"Wunderbar! You have done so well. But we are not finished yet. Listen for my helpful advice. I can only apologize if it seems cryptic. I can not see so well from here." :: — Said after attaching the last part to the Gullottine. *"Oh, look! Just what we are looking for. Well, almost. They need a little more "oomph" before they can serve our needs. Find the right tool Samuel! But quickly! Your allies may choose to follow Maxis!" :: — Said after finding a red orb. Grief * "Ahahahaha, We will work together against the zombies, ah? Haha, CO-OP TIME, SO MUCH FUN! WUNDERBAR! Ahahaha. You're on two teams and only one team can survive, so, good luck." - ''At the start of Grief. * ''"One of them is down !" - ''When an enemy player goes down * ''"Only one of them remains, SHOW NO MERCY!" ''- When one enemy player is left * ''"Two left, let them suffer" - ''When only two people are left. * ''"Three of them are down!" - ''When three enemy players are down. * ''"You know, I think im actually starting to miss the other three" * "Three enemies remain..." - ''When an enemy player bleeds out. * ''"It's up to you now. You are the only one left. Pity" - ''When all teammates are down * "''Round restarted! You have given the other team another chance!" - ''When all players on both teams are down, and the round restarts. * "Time for a firesale" - When a firesale drop is obtained Origins * “We do not have much time. They will return soon. We need to get the 115 conversion generators operational. They are essential to our survival.” -''Start of a game with multiple people * “Get your foul, wretched hands away from me!” -''Hit by a zombie'' * “It's a little heavier than I would like, but it should prove effective.” -''Taking a Zombie Shield'' * “The excavation site is up ahead. We will see the undead in higher numbers.” - When entering No Man’s Land for the first time * ”Be careful, this path is where the robot steps.” -''Indication a giant robot is approaching'' * “At least it was over quickly... after those final moments of utter agony.” -''Killing a zombie with the Boom Hilda'' * “This is one of Maxis' broken staff pieces!” -''Picking up a staff part.'' * “I had thought the staff pieces were lost forever” -Digging up a ice staff part * "I will take this for the time being and i will come back" -Picking up the gun from the box * “I need something quickly!” -''Buying the mystery box'' Shadows of Evil * “I’m so sorry, I really don’t have time to explain. I have a universe to set right. Thank you, und goodbye.” - Ending Cutscene The Giant * "What can I say Dempsey, zhings change." - Intro cutscene * "I am no fool. What I do, I do only to secure a better tomorrow" - Intro cutscene * "Poor hellhounds, they know no better" * "You have found your master, now die!" * "Why won't you just STAY AWAY!" * "I am in need of bullets!" * "All I have left is my knife!' * "What? A wonder weapon?" * "I have killed thousands of you, i will kill thousands more!" * "Fish. That is all." * "Ugh. I harbor all things sweet." * "Argh! Ve should be training them, not killing them!" - killing a hellhound * "War is inevit-.. Ine- Inevitibuh-.. Inevitibr-.... War is coming for sure..!" Der Eisendrache *"It appears our beloved Dempsey is on board zat rocket... Bound for ze moon.." -Starting the game *"I have been here before, I know vhat we must do. Trust me, I'm a doctor." -In reply during the first conversation *"I once tried to climb into ze Pack-A-Punch, hoping zat it could perhaps enhance me... I failed." - Pack-A-Punching a weapon *"I vill be meat for ze horde if I do not secure ammunition!" - Upon running out of ammo *"A future wizout bullets, is not a future I vish to see!" -Upon running out of ammo *"Nicht gute.. Vhere is ze ammo?!" -Upon running out of ammo *"I break rules all ze time! Ze no touching one still stands however!" -Attacked by a zombie *"Gah! zat one hurt! ..Teensy bit!" -Attacked by a zombie *"Your hands.. So filzhy.. I MUST CLEANSE MEIN SELF!" -Attacked by a zombie *"I once poked someone's eye out with a rifle.. It vas an accident, honestly." -Upon getting a rifle from the box *"Vhy can't I have two of everyzhing? It vould make my life so much easier. Or.. Complicated.." *"I remember ven zhere vere two.. Of me." *"I hate zis... I really do..." -Upon getting a sniper rifle *"If only I could regain control, zhen all vould be vell." *"When zhe time is right.. I shall reveal my monkey to zhe vorld." -Upon getting Monkey Bombs *"Let's be honest, who doesn't love a monkey?" -Upon getting Monkey Bombs *"I do not perform surgery vith a wooden spoon. So, VHY MUST I FIGHT WITH A PISTOL?!" -Upon getting a handgun from the box *"Ohhhh, zhats not good..." -Upon getting a handgun from the box *"Puny.. Like Dempsey's mind!" -Upon getting a handgun from the box *"As a doctor, I already know zhat it is vise to use protection." -Upon taking a shield *"Nein, nein, NEIN! EMERGENCY!" *"Electrocution really isn't humane. NOT ZHAT I MIND!" -When using storm bow on zombies. *"Ve must operate on his head...VIZ BULLETS!" -When the Panzersoldat spawns near him. * "GAH! Where is a simple minded fool when you need one? DEMPSEY?!?!?" -Rebuilding a barrier Zetsubou no Shima "It is highly likely zhat certain fluids may leak vhile I'm reloading... I von't go into detail.." "You'd be amazed by zhe depths of zhe pockets in zhis uniform. I'm constantly delighted by vhat i find in zhem!" "It's alvays a good idea to carry protection.. Everyone knows zhat." -Upon grabbing a shield "Trust me, I'll be in und out quick!" "Zhis must be be against.. Some law. *Whispers* I'm such a sinner!" "I'm often given more zhan enough rope to hang myself.." Gorod Krovi "Hammer und nails could be used for so much more.. Interesting.. Purposes.. Eheh..." -Upon fixing a barrier "Oh, you could just fuck off, box." -Upon getting a sniper rifle from the mystery box Revelations * I was wondering when you'd bring this up -In ending cutscene * You could send us somewhere else. Somewhere we've never been... -In ending cutscene bruh * I question the professionalism... When a doctor prescribes candy... I'm talking to you Dr. Monty -When eating a gobblegum * So many flavors, so many powers... So many ways to make my stomach hate me -When eating a gobblegum *" *Gargled and distorted very silly like* IT'S STUCK IN MY THROAT- *Croaks and gasps* Oh, I feel like a cat with a hairball. Ahem... Delicious. *distorted again* Zhank you for zhat." -When eating a gobblegum * "Hmm... Spicy... At least it's clearing my sinuses." -When eating a gobblegum * and queasy -When eating a gobblegum * I think they are slightly softer... hmm... definitely. YAOW! -When eating a gobblegum * Are we in its brain? Its stomach? Its heart? All of the above? -When entering the apothican for the first time * This jar holds many mysteries... Not really, just a little angry squid monster -When obtaining Lil Arnies from the Mystery Box * Ohhh look it's so adorable, I could just squeal *squeals*- When obtaining Lil Arnies from the Mystery Box * Well I think I should release him. Let him stretch his tentacles a bit -When obtaining Lil Arnies from the Mystery Box * It looks like something from my old laboratory... I do like my specimens pickled in vinegar -When obtaining Lil Arnies from the Mystery Box * Why do I suspect this would make a considerable amount of mess? -When obtaining Lil Arnies from the Mystery Box * DO YOU FEEL HIS TENTACLES?! ARE THEY WARM?! -When getting kills with the Lil Arnies * My little friend packs quite the sloppy punch HA! -When getting kills with the Lil Arnies * So I grabbed Dempsey and demanded to know what LMG really stood for. He said "Let me go dumbass!" I did not know it was LMGD... -When receiving an LMG * So I grabbed Dempsey and demanded to know what LMG really stood for. He said "Let me go dummy!" I did not know it was LMGD... -When receiving an LMG * I think I have already proven my proficiency with both of my hands. If only I had a third hand. Wait what am I saying "If only I had a third hand" that's insane. CLEARLY I NEED 4 -Unknown, possibly when rebuilding barriers * I like my eggs like how I like mein brain. Scrambled! It's a joke. Its not always fun being like this -When getting a headshot * So... you're not the one I uh.. *ahem* borrowed the summoning key from are you? ah... good. heh whew -When killing Keepers. Reference to Shadows of Evil ending cutscene * REMEMBER ME! -When killing/knifing zombies * I regret to inform you that your death came quickly. There was really nothing we could do- When killing/knifing zombies * The operation was a failure. You didn't make it!- When killing/knifing zombies * I will swallow your soul. No I won't actually that sounds terrible -When killing/knifing zombies * I will change your prescription. It's now one knife to the throat! -When knifing zombies * Silence! Don't you know it's golden(?) -When killing/knifing zombies * Take your medicine. Here let me help you out -When killing/knifing zombies * DIIIIIIIE -When killing/knifing zombies * They really can't have much quality of life -When killing/knifing zombies * That news isn't good. We won't know for sure until the autopsy -When killing/knifing zombies * Next patient. We're really very busy today! -When killing/knifing zombies * He's going to bring it up. I know he will. There's no way he didn't notice -When pack a punching * You know Monty was a wonderful surprise. He wasn't at all how I pictured him -When pack a punching * After all this is over, I think I'm going to become a pacifist... Probably not. But maybe -When pack a punching * There is a lot of writing on this. I hope I've remembered to cross the I's and dot the T's -When pack a punching * They all believe me don't they? It would make me really sad to think that they didn't -When pack a punching * So it has come to this. Others may question my wisdom, but I know in my heart, that I did what was right -When pack a punching * The others don't understand. I've been doing this for a very long time. I don't want this to end and by that, I mean that I don't want me to end -When pack a punching * I can't even remember if I went back and got myself some blood vials. Surely I did... -When pack a punching * Curses come in many forms. I keep mine hidden. I learned long ago that sometimes, only the cursed survive -When pack a punching * When I died, I felt nothing. When Dempsey died, I felt something. When Takeo died, I knew I had to try to save them -When pack a punching * Mein god I just realized... What if the box runs out of weapons?! -Unknown. Possibly when getting a teddy bear or a random gun out of the box * I did consider keeping him as a pet. But I'd rather have a pig, one of those teeny weeny ones OHHH THEY'RE SO CUTE!- When killing Parasites or Spiders? * You have torn mein uniform! *holding back tears* I am very upset -When hit by enemies * Yeah Nikolai, let them surround you. Don't forget to kill them this time. Just in case I was not clear on that before -When seeing Nikolai surrounded by zombies. Possible Uncharted reference as Nolan North voices Richtofen and Nathan Drake * You... You saved me... You like me... You really like me! -When revived * When life gives you lemons, attempt to weaponize lemonade -When picking up a part Blood of the Dead * This flaming garbage heap is your magnum opus? I applaud your dedication Herr Warden, but your "Armageddon" is locked in here with you. -Replying to the Warden * Guten tag little bird? You can have all the Kronoriums you want when-- When we get back to the lab. * Sal, Finn... Al? That teensy'little seagull! The ghosts of Alcatraz have bought us the time! We will use every moment. * Should your eyes be that color? I can never keep track. -Commenting when a zombie is electrified. * Don't worry! The convulsions are completely normal!- Using the Ragnarok DG-5. * The thawing sequence has begun, but we cannot wait here. We must finish what we have started, und confront our fate above. -Upon lowering the secret wall in the Laboratory * Dempsey- I know that I have not always been easy to follow, but I would like to tell you that you are a good man. Actually, that's not true. I still hate you. * Do you not know who I am?! I am Doctor Edward bloody Richtofen, und I do not need this right now! * The shield key is full und ready! -Shield key fully charged * DIE!!! Und I really hope it hurt that time! -Killing the warden after killing at least one earlier in the game * Now, gentlemen, I do the right thing! Stand back you imbeciles! You want men blood? TAKE MEIN BLOOD! * I want to be me.. THE ONE WHO DID ALL THE HARD WORK! I want to keep going.. this me.. I was the nicest one.. and you won't even remember... -Ending cut-scene. :‘( * Ya, let's build your lab under Alcatraz, it's just a twisted little pocket dimension, vat could go wrong?...Fucking Illuminati. -Plays while Pack-a-Punching * "Maxis! Stop it Edward... This may be just another delusion - It must be. Surely, I would never lead myself into such a... Such a...? Mein Gott! Everything could change!" — Upon starting a solo match. Category:Quotes Category:Funny